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Posted by on Jun 1, 2018 in Advice, Coaching, Dear Coach Kiki, Emotional Learning, Emotional Life Lesson, Job Hunt, Life Lesson | 0 comments

Imposter Syndrome Makes Perfect Sense — Part 3 in a series on Imposter Syndrome

Happy June! I’ll be continuing the series on Imposter Syndrome — & including some new tips & thoughts on questions I’ve gotten about it since I started this series.  

Imposter Syndrome…let’s be honest, who hasn’t experienced it at one time or another?

In part 1, In A Panic had gotten the job of her dreams — and it sent her into a tailspin.

In Part 2 I talked about something that comes up with many/most individual & group clients, that I call Situational Imposter Syndrome.

Today I’ll talk about why it makes perfect sense to experience Imposter Syndrome sometimes.

Coaching Tip: It’s pretty rare for someone starting something new in a career, passion or purpose project not to experience imposter syndrome.

When you look at the list in Part 2, it makes perfect sense that those situations would make a person feel & think —

  • “Who am I to __________ (fill in the blank)”
  • ” I don’t know what I’m doing”
  • “I’m out of my league”
  • “I made a huge mistake”
  • “I’m not qualified to take on”  (fill in the new experience here)
  • They know what they’re doing…they have it all together…I have no idea…I have a little bit of an idea but they really know…”

Of course! if you’re starting something new you’re a beginner again. You’re in the equivalent of 1st grade in that thing. You’re starting something new and the feelings of performance anxiety, insecurity, low self confidence, questioning your abilities and knowledge can come up again.

If it’s been a while since you started something new, those feelings can feel like a shock to your system, but think back to the day before your very first job…scary stuff. That same old feeling can be coming up again in a new situation — no matter how much your rational brain tells you this situation is different. No matter how many people are telling you “you’ve got this…”

Coaching Tips for new situations:

  1. Truth be told, there’s a whole slew of new skills, talents, responsibilities that you have to learn.
  2. You can learn them.
  3. You (usually) don’t have to learn them all in one day.

Emotional Life Lessons when in new situations:

  1. In our showy-look-at-me-don’t-I-look-amazing-watch-me-being-spectacular Instagram, Facebook, social media world where people might be expecting a pic or update about how your first day is so perfect and everything is running smoothly immediately… there’s real life. There’s the reality of how things work.
  2. There’s also your specific internal pressure.
  3. Add to that  external pressures from the workplace, project, and friends & colleagues.

Of course you’re experiencing anxiety. Of course you might be feeling like an imposter.

So…of course you can cut yourself some slack. You don’t have to have it all together the first day — and guess what? That doesn’t make you an imposter.

Coaching Tip: Quick mindset shifts & gifts for you.

  1. You’ll be a beginner many times over in life — if you’re lucky. Embrace that fact and move forward from there.
  2. Think about the excitement of starting something new.
  3. By the way, nervousness & excitement create the same chemical reaction in your body, so when you’re feeling anxious ask yourself what’s exciting about the situation and focus on those aspects.

Coming up in the series:

  • Are you feeling like an imposter because you actually are a bit of an imposter? Did you pretend to be something you aren’t? Did you say you know how to do things you don’t know how to do? Thoughts & tips for dealing with those situations.
  • How to help your employees, students, or children work through some general issues around Imposter Syndrome.
  • How unconscious, long forgotten feelings of imposter-ness can be affecting your career achievements & trajectory, and your career change goals.
  • How expectations of yourself, the expectations of others, and your perceptions can trigger imposter syndrome.

Wishing you a great June, and remember —

Your life is like no other. sm

Have a great one,

Kiki aka Coach Kiki

aka Rebecca Kiki Weingarten, M.Sc.Ed, MFA

Have a question you’d like answered? Or an issue you’d like some thoughts on? Ask away.

© 2018 TradeCraft Coaching & Rebecca K. Weingarten Please note that all posts are for entertainment purposes. It is not intended and should not be construed as the delivery of medical or psychological care. You are always encouraged to check and confirm the information with other sources and through direct professional contact.

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